Cafe Wars

"It's your turn Sarah. I thought you went to get a glass of wine. What are you doing?"
H U R R Y ............10 points.

"I did. I just want to take a sec to check on my Cafeworld."

"Oh for crying out loud."

"Chill, Ma. You're just as addicted to it as I am. Hey! Who's this Rudy Lobo on your friend list?"

"That's a fake Rudy. I made him up so I could have another neighbor on Farmville."

"What??? You're cheating on Farmville?"

"I wouldn't call it cheating. It's more like creative game strategy. Now hurry up and play."

"Okay. Okay. Give me a sec. C H E A T E R ........16 points.

"You're just sore cause you didn't think of it first."
L O S E R .........12 points.

"Right."

" You could make a fake Jim. Might even be an improvement."

"Real nice, Ma. I could use another neighbor in Cafeworld."
M A Y B E .........18 points.

"Rudy's restaurant is called Rude Food! You could call Jim's Crazy Cop Cafe."
S A R C A S M ................12 points.

"I could give him a stupid name. Like, James Dillon."
F E L O N ...........22 points.

"That's the spirit! See. It's not really cheating."
S E D U C E..........14 points.

"In reality, Jim's not much of a cook, but I suppose his avatar could serve up cereal easy enough." A S S H O L E ........18 points.

"He does seem to like Cheerios."

Christmas " Cheerios"

"After all the Christmas madness it's nice to just chill and enjoy a friendly game of Scrabble."

"Right Ma. Like when's that gonna happen? Friendly Scrabble is not what we do and you know it." W A R ............12 points

"Maybe we should make a New Years Resolution to be less competitive."

B L U F F .........18 points

"What if we just say we will and don't? Now give me your best shot."

B O A S T ..........10 points.

"We didn't have much time to talk last weekend. What did Jim get you for Christmas? I'm assuming it wasn't an engagement ring or you'd have called."

G I F T S........12 points.

"No. There was no engagement ring. In fact there was no Christmas for us."

P A I N .......6 points.

"What happened? Did you guys get called into work or something?"

"Nope. That would have been better actually. Jim did a really mean, stupid thing Christmas Eve."

"Oh no! The guy has no filter between his head and his mouth. What did he do this time?"

T R U T H ..........8 points.

"We were going to open our gifts and he insisted I open a very special little box first. It was a jewelry box and I thought maybe, just maybe. When I opened it, sitting in the middle of the box was a piece of Cheerio cereal. Jim's idea of a non-engagement ring joke." F O O L .......7 points.

"Your kidding me right? He couldn't possibly be that stupid or that mean. What the hell is the matter with him?" A N G E R ...........18 points.

"Mom, he thought it was funny. When I started to cry he got mad. Said I was too sensitive, and we ended up in a huge fight. We decided not to open any of the other presents and I went to bed and cried all night." E X C U S E .........32 points.

"Oh my God, Sarah, I'm so sorry. And you were so excited about giving him that Harley Davidson jacket. What a horrible thing to happen. Now what? If it were me, I'd take the jacket back and pack up his shit. But that's just me."

G U I L T Y ..........16 points.

"Oh and that's another thing. When we did open our gifts, he didn't like the $650 jacket I bought. Said he wanted a new gun instead. We fought about it all Christmas Day too, but then it's like always, we just kind of let it go and move on. He said he was sorry. He got me a really cool Iphone and some other stuff."

"You'll never really let it go. I know I couldn't. I'd always remember the hurt."

"Well, he's not gonna change. He's always going to be insensitive and clueless."

A C C E P T ....... 15 points.

"So why ..........?"

"Don't even ask Mom. We make it work. That's all that counts."

"Would you like me to punch his lights out for you? I don't think he'd put up much of a fight. He honestly deserves a good kick in the ass. " R E S C U E ..........8 points.

"What are you doing, Mom? You could have reached that triple score easily. Don't you dare throw this game! I can hold my own." A C C U S E ........10 points.

"Oh, I have no doubt of that. And I would never throw a game!"

L I A R ......5 points.

"Just making sure." W H A T E V E R ................ "Double score. All seven tiles so we add a little bonus".........86 points.

"Well I'll be ...... You sneaky little brat. Suggestion! Take back the jacket and get a credit for it. Then go out and buy a plastic squirt gun. Wrap it in a box large enough to look like the gun Jim really wants. Then give it to him as a goodbye gift!"

"Whoa. Mom. You are the queen of mean"

"All's fair in love and war." P A Y B A C KS See, I was just waiting to reach that triple. Looks like 60 points with the triple plus bonus for all seven tiles." 110 points!

You've Been Naughty

"Well, Ma, the holidays are almost over and you seem to be surviving."

P E A C E ........8 points.

"The week in Cancun helped a lot, but there's still Christmas, and even at work it's one endless Fa La La La La after another!"

C H A O S ........14 points.

"Yeah but the parties at work are a blast and help break up the boring routine."

J O Y ......20 points.

"Depends on where you work I guess. I still haven't found out who put the cute little bag of coal on my desk last year and I swore I'd get even." R E V E N G E .........10 points.

"That's too funny. What are friends for? Yours just appreciate your sense of humor I guess. I'm sure it was done in good fun."

H A P P Y ..........15 points

"Oh yeah. I can feel the love! The stupid bag said "You've been naughty." "

T R U T H ......8 points.

"Well, have you been? Naughty, I mean?" F U N ......... 6 points

"Who? Me? Of course not. Worst thing is no one will admit to doing it. My own friends just sit back laughing and bald face lie to me! What's up with that?"

Q U E R Y ........32 points.

"Man, I gave you that "U" . Bummer. No wonder you got coal."

J U S T I C E .......20 points.

"And another thing. I was all set to pass that little sucker on to someone else this season. I didn't even care if the wrong person got it. Just so I could spread the joy , so to speak."

E Q U A L .....31 points.

"Damn it, Mom. That's twice with the "Q". Enough already! So who'd you give it too?"

R E G I F T ...........18 points.

" I didn't even get a chance! Came into work this morning and there was another bag of coal, just like the other one, sitting smack in the middle of my desk, and everyone standing around laughing and pleading innocence. Even my good karma lady, Susan. Now that's cold!"C L U E L E S S........ "Ha Ha all eight tiles. Bonus time cha ching!" 68 points.

"Mom. I think you should invest in a coal burning furnace!"

Tis The Season

"Wow Mom! Looks like a tornado hit your place."

"Well thanks for pointing that out. Why don't you take your attitude out on the board."

"No attitude Ma, just fact. What the heck happened here?"

C R I T I C ...........24 points.

" Well let me see. Christmas, vacation, family dinners, and I'm trying to prepare for all of them at once. And of course there is always Bobby right smack in the middle of it all."

H O L I D A Y........16 points.

"Aren't you full of the Christmas spirit today."

G R I N C H...........18 points.

"I'm not sure you can use Grinch, but in the spirit of the season, I'll give it to you." S A R C A S M..........14points. " I hate the holidays!"

"And you hide your feelings so well. You don't even have a tree up yet."

N U D G E .......9points.

"Yeah well Santa's not bringing a tree this year! I'm going on vacation next week and that jolly old elf can go..........."

C U R S E S..............10 points.

"Easy, Ma! Cancun will mellow you out so you can face all that Christmas cheer that friends and family bring every year."

J O Y ............12 points.

"I hope so. This time of year just gives me the blues. Why don't you let me win today so I feel better?" P I T Y ...........8 points

"Nice try but it's not gonna happen. My presence will have to be gift enough for you." L O V E .....7 points.

"I feel so blessed now." T R U T H ..........8 points.

"Just remember Mom: Feliz Navidad!" P E A C E .............10 points.

Family Matters

"How was your weekend in Akron, Mom? Did you and Rudy get to see Mindy?"

"Yes he picked her up at the airport Thursday. She'll be home for ten days. She looks good, but she looks tired and her final project for teacher certification has her under a lot of pressure.

C R U N C H ............12 points

"You mean she's actually going to take on school projects while she's going through this chemo? What if she never gets to teach? What she's got is bad Ma. You and Rudy get that don't you?

P O I S O N .........16 points.

"Yes, we get it, but she's worked so hard for her career and she wants that certification. She's a tough young lady. Right now she's just having fun visiting everyone during her school break".

F A M I L Y .......22 points

"Must be rough on everybody with the holidays and all."

E M P A T H Y .......18 points

"It's all good. We had the crab feast early so she could pig out with the rest of us. Lot's of laughing and sick jokes at the table. We made a mess of Grams kitchen I'm afraid. Twenty eight pounds of crab legs and seven hungry people".

L A U G H ........10 points

"I saw the picture of Rudy's dad that you posted on Face book. Where did he get that stupid crab hat?"

"Mindy found it at some weird shop out in CA and brought it back for him a couple of years ago. You can't help but laugh when he puts it on."

"So what's your feelings on all this? I mean it's gotta suck to watch Rudy go through this. What if it breaks him? Not every relationship survives this kind of thing. Look how tough it is with Jim and I. Him being a widower and all.

H O N E S T Y ...........18 points

"I don't know. It kills me to watch it all go down, but there's that part deep inside that says "Thank God it's not me." It's such a selfish feeling. I can never really know what he's going through." G U I L T ........8 points.

"I don't always understand Jim either. Sometimes I want him to just get over it. But I know that's not right." S H A M E ...........12points

" All I can do is be there when he needs me and give him space when he needs that. Maybe it'll be enough." H O P E .......8 points

"Yeah. I feel so bad for him, but I don't want to see you hurt either. Make sure you take care of yourself while you guys go through this." L O V E ..........7 points

"I think I have a pretty good support system around me. I've got you guys."

E N O U G H .............9 points

Gender Issues

"Hey Bobby! You're a handsome dude. Oh look, he rolled over for me to scratch him."

"Yup. He's easy all right. You should see him when you've got a cat treat in your hand. I'm gonna go first. OK?"

"Go ahead. He is a cutie. Still puking on the carpets?"

"Not since I switched him to canned food, but now I've got to haul his ass down to Akron every time I spend a weekend with Rudy." Q U I Z ......... 44 points.

"OK Mr Mgee, I see Mom's cheating already. No wonder you wanted to go first." I D I O T ..........8 points. "How is he with Rudy's cats?"

"Not so good I'm afraid. Lots of hissing and spitting and five-in-the-eye stuff." F I G H T ..............12 points.

"That's not so bad. They're all declawed. Right?" F A I R .......10 points.

"Yes, but Bobby wound up with fur in his teeth, so apparently he bites too."

B U L L Y.........9 points.

"Ouch! Bring him over to my house. The boys will take care of him real quick.

P R O M I S E ......26 points.

"Argos doesn't need another chew toy. He's got all those door knobs to keep him occupied." B R A T .....7 points.

"I thought pets were suppose to make us live longer because they give us love and stuff. How come our guys are such a pain in the ass?" S T R E S S .....16 points.

"Not sure exactly, but I'm thinking maybe it's a gender issue.

M E N .....5 points.

"You don't suppose they're getting back at us for neutering them?"

R E V E N G E ........12 points.

"I don't know, but it's the only time we've had the upper hand ."

S E X ......14 points.

"Maybe Jim and Rudy............"

"Don't even go there Sarah."

" I'm just sayin' " W O M E N ...........10 points

Virtual Reality

"Hey! Hey! You can't use that. Un uh. Take it off the board."

"What? Are you kidding me? It's used all the time Mom. It's like talk to me. "
C O N V O....... 23 points.

"You mean like short for conversation? Like slang. Like cheatin'"

"Some words have become integrated into the language and that's one of them."

"Integrated? Now that's a real word. Whatever. Use it, but I'm telling you, you're gonna regret it by the end of the game."
T H R E A T ....12 points.

"You should be familiar with words like that. You're on the computer all the time."

"Says who?"

"Me. I'm up at 10 and I see you're on-line. What the heck do you do on the computer anyway? It's not like you're on-line dating anymore."
G U I L T Y .......18 points.

"I'm gonna have to de-activate my available button so you can't spy on me. If you must know, I'm farming" D A R E ..........10 points.

"Oh My God. Tell me you are not playing Farmville."
F U N N Y.......16 points.

"And what if I am? It's not like playing a game. I have crops and livestock and stuff. My little farm girl even pets the animals so the little hearts come out of their heads and they jump up and down and make happy noises."
H A P P Y...........12 points.

"Mom. That's insane! It's not real. Aren't you the one who got pissed about me being on Face Book all the time? Hmmm I think you called me a Virtual Child. " A V A T A R.......8 points.

"Oh...nice word. Uses all those vowels you're stuck with. Well, my little avatar is quite happy on her farm. Thank you very much! It's an urban escape for me, that's all." P O U T ........6 points

"Yeah, you need an escape all right. They should have a virtual Nutsville for you to join. You could wear white and make baskets. Hey! You can't use that word. No way, Mom..."

"Just watch me!" B I A T C H...........16 points "As in ..."

"I know, Ma. I know."

The Devil's Game

"You're sure off your game tonight. You didn't even block that triple."

Q U E R Y........38 points.

"I know. There's something I wanted to tell you about and I'm not sure how to do it."

W O R R Y........12 points

"Is it something I want to hear?"

"Probably not."

"Then I'm just fine living in blissful ignorance." T R U T H .....8 points.

"I'm meeting Dad next weekend."

"Who's dad?"

"Don't be stupid, Ma, my dad. I've been talking to him by phone and e-mail the past month."

F A C T .....10 points.

"Why? No. Don't answer that. I know why. You want to see if he's changed. If he finally gives a shit. Even as adults all we ever want is for our stupid parents to love us. Fortunately, my dads dead, so I don't have to wonder anymore."

P A I N ........6 points

"It's been nearly fifteen years since I've seen him. He's had some bad luck and none of his kids talk to him."

"There's a reason for that, Sarah, and you know it."

"I just want to see for myself. You're not mad are you?"

P L E A S E ........10 points.

"No. I can't be mad over something like that. You're a grown woman and you have every right to see your father. I just don't want you to get hurt again."

C O N C E R N .....18 points.

"He can't hurt me. I'm not six years old anymore."

"No. You're not, but he can still hurt you. Don't think for a moment that you're tough enough to face the devil alone."

"I wanted Wendy to come with me. He asked me to ask her to come along."

N A I V E .........8 points.

"Yeah. He'd do that. Ask for Wendy, I mean. Is she going with you?"

"No"

"So you're going alone?" F E A R .......6 points.

"Yes."

"What if he doesn't even show up, Sarah, then what? What if he promises and then blows you off?"

"I don't think he'll do that after all this time." H O P E .........12 points.

"I hope not. You know he won't tell you he's sorry. He can't. He's not like the rest of us."

"You just still hate him."

"No. Honestly, I don't. But I do fear him." A F R A I D ........9 points.

"For Gods sake, Ma, he' s seventy years old. What's he going to do, kill me?"

T O U G H .........10 points.

"Of course not. There are worse things to fear than death. He can hurt you in ways you can't even imagine. When he walks in a room, the light dissappears." S A D ......4 points.

"I have to do this." F I N A L ........8 points.

"I know you do, and I understand why. You know where to find me if you need me."

"I'm sorry I told you."

"So am I, Sarah. So am I." T R A G E D Y .......12 points.

Mini Vacation

"This was such a good idea, Sarah. A little mini vacation in the middle of the week." R E L A X ........32 points

"I figured if Jim could go to bike week in Daytona with his buddies, I could take some time off for myself. Now I'm having second thoughts with those points you're racking up."
H E X .......15 points.

"Scrabble, wine and some of my experimental treats. Maybe I can pull off a coup on the board tonight." H E C K L E ........18 points

"It's a game, Ma, not a war." L I A R.......8 points

"Right."

"I booked our massages for tomorrow. We won't need reservations for lunch at the Brewing Company."

"It's probably been two years since I got a massage from Kelly. She is sooo good. But it's just too far to drive and it's not exactly cheap." T R E A T ....5 points

"Do you miss the East side at all? Ever drive by your old house?"
J O K E ....20 points

"Hell no! I wouldn't go near that neighborhood. Bad schools, crime, no jobs. Even the churches are closing their doors in Cleveland." B L I G H T ......16 points

"I wish Jim and I could get out of Euclid, but looks like we're stuck till we get some bills paid off. Not exactly a great time to sell either. Just hope we haven't waited too long already."
Q U I T ........36 points

"Nice score. These monster dogs of yours need some room to run. As soon as we retire, Rudy and I are headed someplace where the nearest neighbor is five miles away."

"Probably just about the time I finally get pregnant, you'll move away."

"I'll always have time for my grandkids. And letting a kid spend a week in the country every summer is priceless." Q U I Z .......38 points

"Now you're being a pain in the neck, Ma. Do you have to reach every freakin' double and tripple on the board?"
P O U T ........12 points

"Sore loser. Maybe you can get that neck worked on tomorrow at the spa. Until then just have another glass of wine."

Stalker Talk

"Hey Mom! While you're up would you get that other bottle out of the fridge?"

"Sure. Where are the glasses?"

"Just use the plastic cups on the counter. I don't have any more wine glasses."

"Um...What happened to them all?"

"I broke them. OK? Just use the plastic." N O S E Y .........16 points

"I'm not even going to ask. Here. Take your glass and be very very careful. No spillage on the game board." C L U M S Y .......14 points

"Like you never do anything dumb. Wendy told me about the phone episode the other day."

A N C I E N T......9 points

"What about the phone?"

"You were on the phone with her and you started to get all upset cause you couldn't find your phone in your purse. You thought you'd left it at work or something. You had it right in your hand for Gods sake!"

"Oh that. R A T ........6 points. She shouldn't have blabbed. Anyway, I was just upset because she was telling me about that stalker guy who bought a pup from her a couple years ago."

"Yeah. He's some nut case. Those e-mails were spooky. Talking about guns and post traumatic stress shit. Not to mention wanting to make love to her."

W E I R D ......15 points.

"At least the police are taking it seriously."

"I think the part about the guns kind of makes them nervous."

"Them? What about Wendy? She's home alone with the kids most of the time and this guy knows where they live." R I S K ......10 points.

"I was surprised they only found a DUI arrest in his background check. I figured there'd be more. I doubt if Wendy's the only woman he's ever stalked." C R I M E .....13 points.

"No. Just the only one who's husband went to the police and filed an incident report."

"Maybe we should all chip in for Christmas and buy them a home security system."

"Or maybe she should start breeding and selling Rottweilers instead of Goldens."

G U A R D ....8 points.

"Wonder if they've got phone locators for seniors on the market?" S M I R K ....16 points.

"Ha Ha! You might want to look into buying in bulk from The Pottery Barn. They have nice glassware." T A K E D O W N ....72 points. "All seven tiles. Bonus points! Cha-Ching!"

"You can't use that. It's two words! It's hyphenated or something....."

"Perfectly legal. It's a wrestling move. As in: I win. You're pinned"

"You're cheating, Mom. Take those tiles off the board......."

"Oopsie. Good thing that was plastic.

Me & Bobby M'gee

"I can't believe you got a cat, Ma. What on earth made you change your mind about owning a pet?" F E L I N E..........18 points

"I don't know. The pressure of the layoffs, feeling crappy all the time maybe. I just suddenly felt like I wanted something else alive in the apartment besides me.
Now it's me and Bobby M'gee!"C U T E.......8 points

"Weird name."

"You're just too young to get it."

"I'm glad you have some company and I'm glad you don't have cancer.
All the biopsies came back negative. Right?"
R E L I E F...........12 points

"Yeah, but I'm still crawling with these damned parasites! Rudy thinks it's funny that I adopted a cat and I'm the one who needs to be wormed."
I R O N Y............12 points

"That's soooooo gross. Speaking of Rudy, how'd the coyote hunting go this weekend?"
Y U C K......20 points

"Only saw one coyote and that was from the window of the car."

"I thought he was gonna call them in with his predator calls."

"Too much wind and we were dodging rain storms most of the day. But the hiking was great and we had a blast the next day on the four wheelers." F U N ......10 points

"You never liked ATV's before." O D D...........8 points

"I know. I was scared to death at first, but I was trying to be a good sport in front of his friends."

"Four wheeling is awesome!"

"Once I got use to it and relaxed, I had fun. We saw hundreds of deer on our sunset ride. Wish I could have caught them on the camera, but they were too fast." R E G R E T.........9 points

"The pictures you took were great. I still hate hunting.
W H I N E ...........16 points

"Well, Rudy didn't hunt anything but groundhogs this weekend."

"Groundhogs have feelings too you know. Crap! I've got nothing but vowels."

"Not when Rudy gets done with them." S L A M...........21 points

"Nice, Ma. Real nice You guys are seriously messed up!"
E E R I E...........5 points

"Way to use up those vowels."

Health and Welfare

It's kinda nice to have you on my side of town for a change. You should have brought Anubis with you. B A N T E R.......12 points

Yeah, but Jim is home and was going to work with him today. I want him trained better than Argos. T A S K ........28 points.

Argos is a bit...um...frisky. J O K E ......20 points.

How have you been feeling, Ma. Any better lately?

My gut is still killing me and I'm waiting for all the Doctor's reports to come back. At least I'm losing weight.

Not exactly the best way to do it but, I guess it's a nice side benefit in this shit storm you're in. C A R E..........8 points And as far as the layoff, well, I told you it could be a really good thing.

Getting laid off five years short of retirement? No. I can't see that as a good thing. I R O N Y ......10 points

I make enough money to supplement your retirement, and if I ever get pregnant, you could baby sit twice a week or something. You should enjoy as much of the time you have left as you can. H E L P .......20 points

I'm just going to wait till next year when the axe falls, and figure it out then. It's all too much right now. N U M B ........16 points

Have you told Wendy about all this?

Yes.

And?

Well, I told you John said he was praying for me. Wendy hasn't told him the truth about my health problems.

What do you mean by the truth? You have yucky parasites from your Cancun trip, and you might have cancer. What part of that needs to be kept a secret? S H O C K ..........12 points.

The parasite issue obviously.

What? Why?

What do you think, Sarah? If he knew I had parasites he'd never even allow me in their house or near the kids. A N G E R .......8 points.

But that's not something that you're going to pass on. It's not a virus. They'll just give you an RX for Metronidazole. It's just gross. Ha! Sorry, mom. It's probably not funny to you.
H U M O R ....16 points.

I think he'd feel better if he thought I had cancer.
D I S P A I R...........16 points.

Yeah, then he'd inherit some more money. Well don't worry, I've got your back. I'll never let you go homeless. Besides, it's worth it to me to supplement your monthly retirement income. I sure as hell don't want you to live with us! L O V E .........8 points.

Well, that goes double for me. T H A N K S .........18 points.

Fireworks and Family

"Think we can finish this game before the guys get the ribs cooked?"

"Sure. Shouldn't take you too much longer to concede to my superior Scrabble abilities."
T A U N T .......12 points

"Right! That's why its almost tied now."

"I'm just setting the trap. Any minute now you'll be under the gun."

"You haven't said much about the library cutbacks? I didn't want to ask you in front of the guys. Don't know how you and Rudy are dealing with it. He knows right?"
Q U E E R Y ......36 points

"Yes, but I'm trying not to dwell on the possibilities of layoffs. Losing my job six years before retirement is not exactly a fun subject."

"You think it's really gonna be that bad?"

"The governor has to cut something from the budget and he seems dead set on it being the libraries. If he passes a new budget without us in it there will be layoffs at CCPL just like at every other library in Ohio." R E A L I T Y ......28 points

"Man that sucks. I can't believe it! What will you do?"
F E A R .....8 points

"Try to live on unemployment and my savings while I wait it out for a while. Just don't know how I'll pay for my health insurance. At fifty nine with only a high school education it'll be hard to find something else."

"You could move in with Rudy couldn't you?"

"We've already talked about that. I don't want to be rescued by him. I think it would be too hard on the relationship. Too soon and too big a stab at my independent lifestyle. Not to mention his." W I S E ........10 points

"You know I'll help you anyway I can." L O V E .......16 points

"I know that. Wendy said I could move in with them too."

"Yeehaw! Built in baby sitter. How cool would that be? What did John say?"

"Ha! He emailed me and said he was praying for me, and that he'd help me polish up my resume." I R O N Y...........10 points

"Oh my God, Ma. That's classic." H U M O R ........12 points

"Yeah. I thought so too. If I need to I could find a roommate to share expenses but that would be risky. Guess I'll just take it a day at a time. See what happens."

"I can't believe this is happening to you after all you've been through and you're so close to retirement."

"Me and a million other baby boomers caught up in this economic shit storm. I just don't want to loose my ability to pay my own bills. I've been independent all my life and I want to stay that way." H O P E ...........16 points

"You will, Ma, you will." T R U S T .......6 points

"The wine is good, the ribs smell delicious, and it's a perfect weekend for a bar-b-que. What more could I want?"

"Here's to your independence , Ma. Happy Fourth of July!"

The War of the Rings

"Well here we are again butting heads at Scrabble."

"Um, Yeah. You wanna go first Ma."

"First? Why should I go first?" G R I P E........18 points

"I don't know, just thought you'd like that"

"Oh. So if you let me go first in Scrabble, you think I'll forget that I was the last to know about your plans to be engaged to Jim."

"Awe Ma, don't get started." P L E A D........10 points

"What? You thought I wouldn't mind you announcing your engagement to Jim on Facebook?"

"I didn't announce my engagement to Jim on Facebook. I just said we were looking for rings."

"Right. So that meant what? A ring in his nose, or new ring tones on your phones, or an engagement ring?" D O U B T...........9 points

"Jeeshe mom! I would have called you eventually."

"Yeah that's cool. MG emails me and says what's up with Jim and Sarah? She read on Facebook that you two were ring shopping. Like that's not awkward or embarrassing for me. I had no clue."

" Well, it was a surprise to me too. I didn't know he was going to take me out shopping."
Q U I C K........32 points

"Nice. Real nice. Way to jump on that gifted "U". And you could have called me instead of posting it on line first."
B R A T ......12 points

"Lets open one of the bottles we brought home from the Finger Lakes. The wine there was great." G I F T.........28 points

"Oh that's right. I remember reading on Facebook that you guys were spending a few days there." T A C K Y ..........16 points

"You are being so pissy. It's just easier to post things on Facebook. Everyone can see it at once and it saves me time."

"So what are you now ? A virtual child?"

"Well first off, I'm not a child anymore. And we are here playing Scrabble together aren't we?"
R E A L I T Y......20 points

"Only cause you haven't downloaded a Scrabble Game on your computer. Yet!" P O U T.....9 points

"You mean we could play this on line together?"

"Together? This is together! That would be....um....Oh just pour me that stupid wine."
U N C L E .......10 points

"Hey, Ma. Did you know that you can send someone a round on Facebook?"

"Great! When I have to start drinking virtual alcohol you can just shoot me."

Lights Out

"What's up with your game tonight? I'm not even having fun beating you!"

"Been a long week and I'm tired of thinking. The ten hour days are killing me. I love having Monday off but don't think I'll ever get use to this schedule."
W H I N E .......28 points

"Well, its not like you have to go home and take care of kids or pets or a husband or anything."
T O U G H.......12 points

"I know but I just want to shower, eat something and crawl under the covers when I get home."

"So just do that"

"I try, but things keep popping up. Like last week, the construction outside the library made me 20 minutes late getting home. I waited through five light changes at State and Snow."
U N F A I R ......10 points

"You use to have to comute across town ma."

" I know. But then I pulled up to the underground parking garage at the apartment and my electronic key wouldnt work. Found out the electricity was out."

"So just park outside and forget about it" Q U E E N .........36 points

"Yeah, sure, but then I couldn't use the elevators."
C U R S E.........12 points

"OH...sucks to live on the seventh floor." P I T Y.........18 points

"You get the picture now. Huffed my way to the top of the stairs. Then I kept wandering in and out of rooms flipping switches like they were gonna work." I D I O T ........8 points

"How long were the lights off?" H O L E ........10 points

"About three hours. I lit some candles and took a quick shower so my hair would dry before I went to bed, since I couldn't use my blowdrier. Then I sat in the living room starving to death cause I couldn't even heat up the frozen soup I was gonna have."

"So why didnt you go out and get a pizza?"

"Thats what Rudy said. No way was I gonna go up and down seven flights of stairs again. Even for pizza. I'd rather starve."
L A Z Y......28 points

"Don't suppose they'd deliver on the seventh floor either?"

"Probably not. I finally called Rudy and whined about sitting in the dark with nothing to eat."

"Bet he loved that." C R A Z Y .........17 points

"Yeah well he just laughed and reminded me that I had a gas stove."

"Oh my god mom! You're kidding. You forgot you had gas instead of electric?"

"Yeah. He found that quite amusing too. He said, "Put the soup in a pan and put it on the gas flame just like they did in the old days." Then he added, "Don't forget to plug it in Hon!"
A S S H O L E.........10 points

"You can't use that! Besides, it's a horrible waste of your esses"
C H E A T.......12 points

"Why not? Just hooking on to your hole. Give me a break here. And you let me worry about wasting my tiles."

"You need a keeper not a boyfriend, Ma"

"You're probably right. Someday you'll be getting a call from poor Rudy saying I've gone missing. Just wandered off somewhere. "
G U I L T ........8 points

"Right! I'm gonna go open another bottle of wine and try to swallow some of this BS your'e handing out tonight. Meanwhile, just focus on the game OK?" L O S T .........4 points

"I'm trying. I'm trying.

When Pigs Fly

E X A C T .....32 points. "OOOOH OOOH Good for me, Ma."

"OK. I'm getting another glass of wine. How about you?"

"Not when I'm winning. You can't pull that on me."

"By the way. We won't be going to the Memorial day picnic at the Bush's either this year."
C L U E ........12 points.

"Why not? I can't go cause I'm on call . But what excuse did you find?"

"Um...No excuse. We just kind of got uninvited."

"You're kidding. How'd you get that lucky?" A M A Z E ......40 points

"Forty points! That sucks. Johns in a panic about this swine flu thing. I figured if I went to Mexico on vacation, I'd stay away from Boo and Mathew for 7 to 10 days. But John is insisting on a two week quarantine for me."
S H A M E .........15 points

"Ouch! Guess they don't need a baby sitter till next month. Sorry, Ma, that probably wasn't very funny." T E A S E ......12 points

"Well, I can't blame him for being paranoid and I didn't want to go anyway. I was jealous of you being able to say you were on call." F A K E ........22 points

"Then why are you so mad?" T R U T H ......18 points

"I'm not mad." L I A R ........10 points

"Yeah you are. Your jaw is doing that weird thing it does when you're pissed."

"I don't know. I guess I'm just tired of having to ask permission every time I want to visit my daughter and my grandchildren."

"Well, Ma, the Bush family is crazy. You are way too sensitive, and I have my own issues. I'm not sure abstinence isn't the best thing to do when it comes to our family get togethers."
H O N E S T Y ......22 points.

"How did we ever get like this?" G U I L T .....8 points

"We're no different than most people."

"Ya think?"

"Yeah, I do. Everybody is nuts. We're just, um.....less medicated than most. Here let me pour that for you."
C R U T C H ........16 points.

"I'm losing again and I have crap for tiles." P I T Y .......16 points.

"Just go on vacation, Ma. Forget all this bull shit and go. It will all still be here when you get back." P R O M I S E ....32 points

"Thanks. I feel better already."

Dead Heat

"This sucks, ma. I can't reach the corner for a triple."

"Well, just feel free to leave it open for me."

"No way. Has to be a way to block you. When do you leave for Cancun?"

" Two weeks."

"Ah......I've got it!" S W I N E .......15 points

"Great. Just what I need. A reminder of the stupid Flu panic. Only I could book a vacation during a major pandemic!"
I R O N Y.........10 points

"I'm not sure I'd go if I was you. What if you get stuck in Mexico like Dan and I got stuck in Aruba after 9/11?"
C A U T I O N .........16 points


"I'm going no matter what, unless they close the borders, and that would finish off what's left of the airlines and our economy. Oh! Thanks for the "U"."
Q U E S T .......32 points


"Damn it! I don't know why you'd want to take a chance like that. If it was me, I'd postpone the trip till this swine flu thing blows over. Why risk your health?"

"Oh. Right. This coming from someone who rides a motorcycle without a helmet."

"I wear a scarf to hold my brains in." W I S D O M ...........22 points

"And I'll wear a face mask to ward off the swine flu."
D U M B .......17 points. "By the way, how's Jim healing after his little accident?"

"He's fine. He's just a big baby. His stitches come out next week."
T O U G H .......10 points.

"Good thing he hit the pavement with his arm instead of his head, since he wasn't wearing a helmet!" L U C K Y ........14 points.

Yeah, and he doesn't even wear a scarf." G A M E ......8 points.

"Very funny."

"So you really think its a good idea to travel to Mexico next week?"

"Are you and Jim gonna wear helmets next time you ride?"
P O I N T ..........10 points.

"Absolutely!....................................NOT"
D R A W ...............12 points.

War Zones

"I'm glad you made the trip to Parma this time. We haven't played in a while and I just don't get to the East side as often as I'd like. Why don't you just go ahead a make the first move. My tiles aren't exactly great."

"Yeah, well after the break in here, who wants to come to Parma anymore? When are you moving?" F L I G H T.......30 points.

"Wow great start. Why would I move? Break ins happen everywhere and this place is really pretty secure."

"Right! That's why three thugs with guns were able to get into the building and smash in three doors before the cops came. It was all over the news. You know they were looking to kill someone don't you?"

"Yes, they were, but the police were here in minutes and they caught them all." T R U S T .......10 points.

"Could have been your door they busted in. Then what? Could you still live here then?" F E A R .......14 points.

"No. Probably not. But it wasn't my door, and no one got hurt."

"This time."

"Oh it could have happened in your neighborhood just as easily."
A R G U E....12 points.

"Yeah, and that's why I'm going to move as soon as I can! This city is coming apart at the seams. "

"I still think people are basically good."

"Are you kidding me? Most people are assholes!" U G L Y .......18 points.

"Then how come my purse was returned to me last week with everything still in it?"

"You just got real lucky, that's all. I still can't believe you left it in the shopping cart and just drove off."

"Wasn't one of my better days. But someone turned it in to the store and that says something for honest people still being out there." N A I V E .......10 points.

"I don't know about that, but it certainly says something! You have to start being more careful Ma. Just think how bad that could have been. You had everything in that purse, even your SS card, which, by the way, you have no business carrying in your purse." V E X.....32 points

"Ouch! OK you made your point and your points. I will try to be more careful. But, I still think people are basically good and you can't change my mind about that" E X I T .......15 points

Feng Shui

"Hi Argos. Sweet baby. I love this dog."

"I keep tellin' you. You need a pet."

"I have a pet. What's this wine? Not a Chardonnay.
E X P E N S E ......Yee Haw! All seven tiles. Double score plus bonus points.......86 Points"

"What the...? Are you kidding me? Who starts out like that? Forget the wine. No more wine for you. And you do not have a pet. P O O P ......10 points."

"Nice word. I have Tai. He's my Zen master."

"God, Ma. A fish? You call that a pet?"

"Yup. You obviously, need some karma in your life. A fish with bamboo plants and river rocks would be good for you.
B R E A T H ......16 points."

"Argos would eat the plants and the fish. T O U G H ....12 points."

"Seriously, with the stress in your job, you need some Feng Shui or something. Q U E E N .......36 points"

"Damn it, Ma what are you doing? P A N I C .....22 points."

"Playin'. Just Playin'. You gave me the U. Seriously, I don't know how you manage your surgery rotation. How do you do it?"

"It's not easy. I'm use to cardiac surgery. The general surgery isn't so clean cut. Amputations, OBGYN stuff. It's gross and not exactly what I prefer, but it's less pressure and lots less on call time."

"I told you, you need some karma in your life. I'm gonna get you a fish. Z E R O ...42 points."

"I don't need karma. I need good tiles like you got. This sucks.
U N C L E ....16 points"

Papa

"Hey! Your hair looks nice. You letting it grow out?"

"Just for the winter."

"The color's nice on you too. OK ..best I got is T O D A Y ......17 points."

"Thanks. I just did it Sunday. Boo asked me why it smelled funny on Monday night."

"What'd you say?"

"Told her it was because of the dye I'd put in my hair to cover the grey. She was like, 'Oh! That's why you're not gray like Grandma Bush.' T R U S T .......12 points."

"Nice one."

"Yeah. Then I made the mistake of telling her the grey hair made me feel old."

"And? Q U E S T ......36 points."

"Damn, a Q already, and I left the U hangin' out there for you. She said 'But grandma, you are old.' F O O L .... 14 points."

" You betcha. That's my name sake all right."

"Nothing like a child to tell you the truth. She asked about Papa again."

"Why? It's been two years since she's seen him. A N G E R ...12 points."

"She found the Slider doll he bought her at an Indians game a couple of years ago. Wendy'd put it away in the spare bedroom. She found it while they were cleaning out the room for the new baby. I R O N Y ...........10 points."

"She'd remembered he'd bought it for her? That sucks."

"She asked me why he drove away without even saying goodbye. Then she asked me if I thought we'd ever see him again."

"Great. What did you tell her? T R U T H .......24 points."

"What could I say? I told her I didn't know why he left, and NO I didn't think we'd ever see him again. A B A N D O N .........8 points."

"What an ass. Who leaves a kid like that?"

"Lots of people, I guess. I told her he was a Poop Head."

"Way to go, Ma. J U S T I C E ......32 points."

"Yeah , well, she told me I shouldn't call him that cause they don't say things like, Poop Head in their house." S O R R Y ........10 points."

" Well, maybe they should! Truth is he doesn't give a damn about anybody but himself. She was just collateral damage as far as he was concerned. W A R .....8 points."

"When she's old enough, she'll realize the truth on her own. Until then, lets just let her believe that he's still Papa.
N A I V E.......8 points."

"Ma, You're never gonna win with low scores like that."

Fishing For Answers

"Hey! Stop fishing."

"I'm not fishing. I'm looking to see if I've got the spelling on this right."

"On what? XENON or some obscure way to use your X ?"

"Well, it could be a word."

"FISHING!"

"Whatever. Fine. I'll just use this . A G E D (as in you are aged)....... 10 points."

"Ha Ha! Do you know how to spell smartass?"

" Too many tiles and not enough esses, Mom. How old are you gonna be next month anyway?"

" Fifty nine and holding. A N C I E N T .......16 points."

"Wow! What happens when you hit the big 60? T E A S E ......6 points."

"I'll be twice as smart as you were last year when you turned thirty! Q U I P .......30 points."

"Funny, Ma. Just remember, I'm gonna have power of attorney for health on you. T H R E A T .....14 points. And I'll be picking out your nursing home facility"

"You mean I can't come and live with you when I'm old?
G U I L T..........9 points."

"Sure. Then when the time is right, I'll just have you put to sleep!"

"Maybe I should have had more kids."

"Maybe. E X I T .............32 points."

Biscuits' Ashes

"Aren't those Biscuits' ashes? When did you decide to set them out?"

"Couple weeks ago. Thought it was time. G R I E F.......16 points."

"Wow! He was some hell cat. How old was he? Eighteen years?
C R A Z Y ......28 points."

"Yeah, I got him when we had to leave the farm. I guess I was six."

"Remember when he put me in the hospital for three days? Thought I was gonna lose my hand from the infection."

"He didn't mean to bite you. He just got spooked.
A L I B I .........12 points."

"Meanest damned cat I ever saw. But you two were inseparable. T W I N S .....10 points."

"He loved me. T R U T H .......8 points."

"He was tough and independent just like you. You made quite a pair. M E M O R Y .....16 points."

I thought you were going to make me get rid of him after he bit you. D E S P A I R........20 points."

"No. I couldn't do that."

"Everyone thought you were crazy to let me keep him."

" You needed him. He was all you had. I knew that.
L O V E .........8 points."

"Yeah, he was some cat. T H A N K S .......18 points."

Life's Lemon Laws

"Wow! Nice new vehicle in the drive."

"Yup and no car payments. How cool is that?"

"Well its about time you caught a break. Don't expect one from me though. I'm feeling smart today. Not bad tiles to start."

"Yeah but I get to go first." L U C K Y ....double for 26 points.

"OK, so lets see if your luck holds. Were you able to pay cash for the new car?" H A P P Y .... 18 points.

"Uh Huh. Mazda bought that piece of junk back for everything I paid including interest. I couldn't believe the Better Business Bureau would come through for me like that." A M A Z E ....32 points.

"Ouch, yer killin' me here. So the lemon law actually works?"

"Apparently. Took me six months and a lawyer, but after four years with that piece of crap car I got my money back. Enough to pay cash for this new one."

"No car payments. That's a first for you! I'm really glad."
J U S T I C E ........20 points.

"Hey! Jim got his shift change at last too. We actually get to see each other now. Things are really good." P E A C E .......12 points.

"So he'll be moving in soon?"

"Yeah. I think it's gonna work this time."

"Looks like you're finally getting a payoff for all your efforts. I know how hard you've worked for everything you have."
P R I D E ..........11 points.

"I'm kinda like you though. Always waitin' for the other shoe to drop." W O R R Y.......18 points.

"Maybe we should both ease up and just go barefoot for a while. No shoes, nothing to fall out of the sky on us anymore."
H O P E .........10 points.

"I'll drink to that! I got 88 points and you're only sitting on 59. I'm thinkin' you're losing this one Ma." B R A G ........8 points.

"Wonder why it doesn't feel like it?"

Raggy Tales

"What a miserable drive. The roads suck on your side of town. I'm not staying the night. Maybe lets just get one game in before it gets dark and the roads ice over."

"More wine for me then. None for you. The boards set up. Leave your boots by the stairs."

"Won't Argos eat them?"

"Not if we play here in the kitchen."

"How's he doing with Wendy's dogs over here all week?"

"We're all goin' nuts. I can't wait till she picks them up Tuesday."
I R A T E....8 lousy points.

"Well, they should be back from vacation by tomorrow night."
R E A S O N ......10 points

"They whine constantly, and it makes Argos nervous. He keeps crashing through the baby gate and getting into trouble."
N A U G H T Y.....26 points

"What kind of trouble?"

"Last week I came home and he'd eaten the remote, and a pair of my shoes. And he had his toys scattered from one end of the house to the other."

"And he's still alive?" S H O C K ....18 points

"The only thing I really got mad about is I found Raggy all chewed up in the corner of the living room." D E S P A I R......12 points

"Oh my God! Not Your Raggy!"

"Yeah...pissed me off. Jim just laughed and said he wished Argos would eat Raggy and poop him out"

"Poor Jim always plays second fiddle to that thing."
E M P A T H Y ....22 points

"Poor Jim? You mean poor Me. I love Raggy."

"I know, but not too many thirty year old woman still sleep with a security blanket. Seriously, though, what would you do if that did happen?"

"I'd wash him." T O X I C......30 points

"Raggy?"

"Yes...of course Raggy!"

"EWWWW there's something seriously wrong with you!"

"Ya think? Must be a childhood trauma thing or something."

"Do I detect a little sarcasm there?" H U M O R ....12 points

"Maybe just a little."

"What happened to the door knob?"

"Argos likes to chew door knobs now too." S I L L Y ....10 points

"But they're metal and they're three feet off the ground."

"Well, he's a big boy, Mom, and he likes to chew. Now play. It's your turn. And for Gods sake, don't drop any tiles on the floor."

New Year

"Another new year and another scrabble game. A glass of wine and winning tiles, what more could I ask for?"

"Ummm a million dollars?"

"I'll settle for kickin' your butt and getting Argos to Setzne!"

"Argos, go get your toy and leave grandma alone so she can concentrate. You know how hard that is for her baby boy!"

"Nice, real nice. Any big plans for the new year? You were going to try to adopt another Ridgeback weren't you? H O P E ...18 points"

"Yeah, still trying to get approval and there's the matter of money, to pay for the adoption fees. What about you? You spent a lot of time in Akron over the holidays."

"Hmmm yeah, trying to settle into the new four day work week so I can split my time between Akron and Parma. I really had a blast on New Years day with Rudy's family"

"The polenta thing?"

"It was awesome. So much fun and so much food. I love the way Rudy wants to carry on the family tradition. His dad even gave me his sauce recipe."

"Is that such a big deal? S T O P .......6 points"

"What a waste of an S. Yes, he's been on dialysis a long time and no one knows if he will be here next Christmas. But the tradition will go on, and I'm really happy to be part of it. F A M I L Y.....16 points."

"Sounds like this thing between you and Rudy is pretty permanent. A little quick for that isn't it? D O U B T.....12 points"

"Yeah it is. It's not like me, you know, to jump off the edge without looking for a soft landing. But I really want this, and time changes when you get older. Every second seems more precious. J O Y........26 points"

"So you gonna marry him? H I S T O R Y......18 points"

"No. I don't need to marry him to prove that I love him, and he promised he wouldn't give me that ultimatum"

"And what if he does?"

"He won't"

"But what if he does?"

"Don't do that Sarah."

"Do what?"

"Compare him to the past, to Ray and what he did to me.
P L E A S E.....11 points"

"Just don't marry him Ma. Keep your independence. Stay who you are this time."

"I will. I can. I am."

"Whatever! R I S K ......21 points"