Feng Shui

"Hi Argos. Sweet baby. I love this dog."

"I keep tellin' you. You need a pet."

"I have a pet. What's this wine? Not a Chardonnay.
E X P E N S E ......Yee Haw! All seven tiles. Double score plus bonus points.......86 Points"

"What the...? Are you kidding me? Who starts out like that? Forget the wine. No more wine for you. And you do not have a pet. P O O P ......10 points."

"Nice word. I have Tai. He's my Zen master."

"God, Ma. A fish? You call that a pet?"

"Yup. You obviously, need some karma in your life. A fish with bamboo plants and river rocks would be good for you.
B R E A T H ......16 points."

"Argos would eat the plants and the fish. T O U G H ....12 points."

"Seriously, with the stress in your job, you need some Feng Shui or something. Q U E E N .......36 points"

"Damn it, Ma what are you doing? P A N I C .....22 points."

"Playin'. Just Playin'. You gave me the U. Seriously, I don't know how you manage your surgery rotation. How do you do it?"

"It's not easy. I'm use to cardiac surgery. The general surgery isn't so clean cut. Amputations, OBGYN stuff. It's gross and not exactly what I prefer, but it's less pressure and lots less on call time."

"I told you, you need some karma in your life. I'm gonna get you a fish. Z E R O ...42 points."

"I don't need karma. I need good tiles like you got. This sucks.
U N C L E ....16 points"

Papa

"Hey! Your hair looks nice. You letting it grow out?"

"Just for the winter."

"The color's nice on you too. OK ..best I got is T O D A Y ......17 points."

"Thanks. I just did it Sunday. Boo asked me why it smelled funny on Monday night."

"What'd you say?"

"Told her it was because of the dye I'd put in my hair to cover the grey. She was like, 'Oh! That's why you're not gray like Grandma Bush.' T R U S T .......12 points."

"Nice one."

"Yeah. Then I made the mistake of telling her the grey hair made me feel old."

"And? Q U E S T ......36 points."

"Damn, a Q already, and I left the U hangin' out there for you. She said 'But grandma, you are old.' F O O L .... 14 points."

" You betcha. That's my name sake all right."

"Nothing like a child to tell you the truth. She asked about Papa again."

"Why? It's been two years since she's seen him. A N G E R ...12 points."

"She found the Slider doll he bought her at an Indians game a couple of years ago. Wendy'd put it away in the spare bedroom. She found it while they were cleaning out the room for the new baby. I R O N Y ...........10 points."

"She'd remembered he'd bought it for her? That sucks."

"She asked me why he drove away without even saying goodbye. Then she asked me if I thought we'd ever see him again."

"Great. What did you tell her? T R U T H .......24 points."

"What could I say? I told her I didn't know why he left, and NO I didn't think we'd ever see him again. A B A N D O N .........8 points."

"What an ass. Who leaves a kid like that?"

"Lots of people, I guess. I told her he was a Poop Head."

"Way to go, Ma. J U S T I C E ......32 points."

"Yeah , well, she told me I shouldn't call him that cause they don't say things like, Poop Head in their house." S O R R Y ........10 points."

" Well, maybe they should! Truth is he doesn't give a damn about anybody but himself. She was just collateral damage as far as he was concerned. W A R .....8 points."

"When she's old enough, she'll realize the truth on her own. Until then, lets just let her believe that he's still Papa.
N A I V E.......8 points."

"Ma, You're never gonna win with low scores like that."

Fishing For Answers

"Hey! Stop fishing."

"I'm not fishing. I'm looking to see if I've got the spelling on this right."

"On what? XENON or some obscure way to use your X ?"

"Well, it could be a word."

"FISHING!"

"Whatever. Fine. I'll just use this . A G E D (as in you are aged)....... 10 points."

"Ha Ha! Do you know how to spell smartass?"

" Too many tiles and not enough esses, Mom. How old are you gonna be next month anyway?"

" Fifty nine and holding. A N C I E N T .......16 points."

"Wow! What happens when you hit the big 60? T E A S E ......6 points."

"I'll be twice as smart as you were last year when you turned thirty! Q U I P .......30 points."

"Funny, Ma. Just remember, I'm gonna have power of attorney for health on you. T H R E A T .....14 points. And I'll be picking out your nursing home facility"

"You mean I can't come and live with you when I'm old?
G U I L T..........9 points."

"Sure. Then when the time is right, I'll just have you put to sleep!"

"Maybe I should have had more kids."

"Maybe. E X I T .............32 points."

Biscuits' Ashes

"Aren't those Biscuits' ashes? When did you decide to set them out?"

"Couple weeks ago. Thought it was time. G R I E F.......16 points."

"Wow! He was some hell cat. How old was he? Eighteen years?
C R A Z Y ......28 points."

"Yeah, I got him when we had to leave the farm. I guess I was six."

"Remember when he put me in the hospital for three days? Thought I was gonna lose my hand from the infection."

"He didn't mean to bite you. He just got spooked.
A L I B I .........12 points."

"Meanest damned cat I ever saw. But you two were inseparable. T W I N S .....10 points."

"He loved me. T R U T H .......8 points."

"He was tough and independent just like you. You made quite a pair. M E M O R Y .....16 points."

I thought you were going to make me get rid of him after he bit you. D E S P A I R........20 points."

"No. I couldn't do that."

"Everyone thought you were crazy to let me keep him."

" You needed him. He was all you had. I knew that.
L O V E .........8 points."

"Yeah, he was some cat. T H A N K S .......18 points."

Life's Lemon Laws

"Wow! Nice new vehicle in the drive."

"Yup and no car payments. How cool is that?"

"Well its about time you caught a break. Don't expect one from me though. I'm feeling smart today. Not bad tiles to start."

"Yeah but I get to go first." L U C K Y ....double for 26 points.

"OK, so lets see if your luck holds. Were you able to pay cash for the new car?" H A P P Y .... 18 points.

"Uh Huh. Mazda bought that piece of junk back for everything I paid including interest. I couldn't believe the Better Business Bureau would come through for me like that." A M A Z E ....32 points.

"Ouch, yer killin' me here. So the lemon law actually works?"

"Apparently. Took me six months and a lawyer, but after four years with that piece of crap car I got my money back. Enough to pay cash for this new one."

"No car payments. That's a first for you! I'm really glad."
J U S T I C E ........20 points.

"Hey! Jim got his shift change at last too. We actually get to see each other now. Things are really good." P E A C E .......12 points.

"So he'll be moving in soon?"

"Yeah. I think it's gonna work this time."

"Looks like you're finally getting a payoff for all your efforts. I know how hard you've worked for everything you have."
P R I D E ..........11 points.

"I'm kinda like you though. Always waitin' for the other shoe to drop." W O R R Y.......18 points.

"Maybe we should both ease up and just go barefoot for a while. No shoes, nothing to fall out of the sky on us anymore."
H O P E .........10 points.

"I'll drink to that! I got 88 points and you're only sitting on 59. I'm thinkin' you're losing this one Ma." B R A G ........8 points.

"Wonder why it doesn't feel like it?"